GUEST POST: Navigating life and growing up with two moms

Wednesday, June 1, 2016. On this date, LGBTQ bloggers, their family members, and allies from across the U.S. and around the world will celebrate the 11th annual Blogging for LGBTQ Families Day. The event, developed and run by the GLAAD award-winning (for Outstanding Blog) LGBTQ-parenting site Mombian, and sponsored by the Family Equality Council, aims to celebrate LGBTQ families, their diverse natures, and raise awareness of how current prejudices and laws have a negative impact on their lives and children.  Mombian is asking LGBT families, straight allies and all other supporters to write and submit to Mombian.com, a blog post on any topic relating to LGBT families.

Hannah Moch works in communications with the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. She was born, raised and lives in New York City.

I have always been Hannah with two mommies. I don’t know when I realized that talking about my family was political but I’ve been going to rallies with my moms for a long time, so it must have been early. Queerspawns (my favorite term for kids of LGBTQ folks) have to walk a fine line between talking about our families just like everyone else and not bringing up hot-button political issues at inopportune moments.

When I was about five, I was in Disney World with my moms and as the long lines stretched out for what seemed like miles ahead of us, I became bored. I turned to the family behind us in line and said the one thing I always said to people:

“Hi! I’m Hannah and I have two moms.”

The mother pulled her two children out of line and away from us. This was around 1998. I had broken some sort of Disney World code. The first time I had dinner with my boyfriend’s parents, much thought went into bringing up my family structure. It’s an unwritten rule that politics should not be discussed when you “meet the parents.” But ultimately, I don’t think I could date someone whose family didn’t approve of mine, so I brought my moms up, and it (happily) went in the opposite direction of my Disney encounter.

In the last two years, I’ve also started working in the “real world.” Politics should only be brought up in an office setting where it is relevant, so I’ve found myself teetering on that fine line (and I am not that graceful!). I work in a national nonprofit with volunteers from all over the country. I have no idea how some of them might feel about LGBTQ parenting. Is it my responsibility to shield them from something that might make them uncomfortable? Absolutely not, but I don’t really want to know if any of my allies in the fight for suicide prevention are on the opposing side of the LGBTQ-rights battle field.

The other question facing queerspawns everywhere is whether it’s fair that our families are political. The answer is no. We shouldn’t have to feel like walking soapboxes and I know many kids who don’t talk about their families for just this reason. But I long ago owned my role as a human soapbox/billboard. I love it.

Having two moms is such a part of who I am that I don’t really have an off button for it. Recently, a volunteer for the organization I work for saw a tweet I posted with some photos of my family.

“You should tell that story MORE often!” she told me.

Never, in my life, has anyone told me to tell the story of my family MORE often. If anything, I’m the girl who won’t shut up about it. I appreciated the gesture, though; she was letting me know that I was in a safe space (at least with her) to discuss my family, and there’s something to be said for allies like that.

In a world that is becoming more and more accepting it’s possible that one day no one will bat an eyelash when I talk about my moms , but until then, I am grateful for the spaces where my moms aren’t seen as a political issue. They’re just Mom and Mama.  My parents.  And we are just like any other family.