Celebrate 'Valentine's Gay' with self-care

the voice and vision of a new generation
Image credit: Hisu Lee

Celebrate 'Valentine's Gay' with self-care

February 14, 2019

It is that time of year again! Cupid is hard at work, there is new love in the air, and everywhere you look, people are planning extravagant dates and plans for their significant others.

Does that mean if you happen to be single on the love day that you do not get to participate? Absolutely not. Love is not just something two people share, it’s also something we should celebrate and cherish in ourselves.

Valentine’s Day is the only day in the calendar dedicated to love; to all forms of love.  Each and every form of love is valid and beautiful - if that fact alone is not cause for celebration, I don’t know what is. ‘Valentine’s Gay’ was a term that I use to celebrate myself as a queer individual—to celebrate who I am, as I am.  It is also a term that I use to share the love with all of my fellow queer folks. Dedicate this day to yourself; this day is for us.

Being single doesn't mean anything is wrong with us, it’s just not where we are in our lives right now. Self love and self care are just as important, if not more so.

Here are some ways you can show your special someone (you) how much you care:

1. Get A Massage

There is nothing like a nice relaxing massage to let yourself know you care. Great way to show self love to your body and your soul, as massages can be quite therapeutic.

2. Go To The Spa

Ahhhhh, the spa. Facials, manicures, pedicures, hot stones, an overall aura of peace and harmony. The spa is a great way to spend the entire day doing things for yourself, and the great thing is a spa can be created at home. Relaxation should not be bank breaking. That isn’t self care.

3. Go to Brunch

Arguably the most important meal of the day. Mimosas, bacon, waffles, a Sunday afternoon. Bring a good book and you are set. Meals do not always have to be shared, and brunch is one of the most enjoyable meals to have on your own. Why? Because now you don’t have to share those flaky buttery croissants.

4. Meditate

Meditation, one of the most ancient practices of many spiritualities, based in East Asia, has been getting more and more popular in the newest generation, and for good reason. Even if you are not a spiritual person, it is good to relax, empty your mind, take stock of the day, and check on your emotional and mental well-being. Your mental and emotional selves need love too, so you will be better off for it.

5. Take a bath

One of the greatest home therapies there is; the bath. Light a few candles, get a bath bomb, or even make your own, and you are set. The great thing about taking a nice bath is the cost effectiveness of it, even if you do not have a bath bomb or bath salts you can always make them yourself and really personalize it.

6. Watch a movie you enjoy


Watching a movie that you love is a very good example of self care. The memories and emotions the movie may bring back for you can instantly transport you to a calm or exciting time. It can be a movie from your childhood. Alternatively, you can go see a new movie you want to see, by yourself. That way you can make new friends, or treat yourself to a snack without feelings guilty or having to share.

7. Spend time with people who makes you feel loved

Energy transfers. So, spend time with people who help you flow with positivity. Being single on valentines day does not mean you HAVE to be alone on valentines day if you do not want to be. Call a friend or loved when you have not seen in some time, and spend the day with them. VDay is not only about the romantic loves, it’s about the platonic loves as well.

8. Bake some brownies

In my opinion, brownies are the best pastry in the world, and they make everything and everyone better around them. They are the ultimate source of positivity and will make you feel loved inside and outside. Brownies always solve problems.

Kayla Inman is a GLAAD Campus Ambassador and junior at St. John's University studying psychology. She is a Scorpio, Afro Latina, bisexual, and into tattoos and female empowerment.

the voice and vision of a new generation