The fight to offer diverse children’s books in public schools will go national this month when the Supreme Court issues a ruling on Mahmoud v. Taylor. The case surrounds three couples who objected to a small number of LGBTQ-inclusive children’s books offered as nonmandatory supplemental learning materials in Montgomery County Public Schools, in Maryland. Because the district did not offer an opt out clause to prevent access to their children, they claimed infringement on their religious rights.
“What’s at stake in Mahmoud v. Taylor isn’t just access to books—it’s whether LGBTQ kids get to see themselves reflected in the world around them,” author and therapist Chris Tompkins tells GLAAD. “Book bans are often framed as debates about age-appropriateness or parental rights, but underneath is fear. These stories challenge long-held beliefs and push against societal norms many of us were raised with. The fear isn’t really about the books themselves, though. It’s about what they represent: visibility, change, and the undoing of old narratives. But discomfort isn’t a reason to avoid these stories; it’s an invitation to grow. We can’t challenge bias or build empathy without first being willing to look at what makes us uncomfortable.”
Through his book Raising LGBTQ Allies: A Parent’s Guide to Changing the Messages from the Playground (Rowman & Littlefield, 2021), Tompkins invites parents, relatives, educators, and allies to critically examine, understand, and address their own beliefs to enable them to shape the “messages from the playground” kids receive to be affirming and welcoming.
Messages from the playground, Tompkins explains, describes “the subconscious beliefs we all pick up from our childhood about what it means to be a boy or a girl, gay or straight, or Black, white, and so on. Messages are the dominant societal worldview and the playground is our mind or, rather, our consciousness.” This analogy “unites those of us trying to make the world a safer place for all children,” and can be used to connect people, rather than separate.
Raising LGBTQ Allies helps allies explore these subconscious beliefs and potential biases about LGBTQ people. Tompkins wants readers to know bias often stems from fear, and that open and honest conversations with kids about gender and sexuality can prevent shame that can drive internalized homophobia (fear and shame directed inward) and fear directed toward others. Tompkins discusses how to rewrite the narrative where being LGBTQ is normalized and humanized rather than a difference to separate and exclude. It starts with adults addressing their own experiences and rewriting those narratives too.
“We cannot fully address homophobia, transphobia, bullying, shame, and their effects without exploring trauma,” Tompkins notes, which does not have to be catastrophic or exceptionally violent.
“Trauma is also experienced as a daily microaggression, such as homophobia, transphobia, bullying, and time spent in the closet. Any child who has experienced the closet has known shame—and shame itself is trauma.”
It’s never too early to begin holding authentic discussions with children to help them learn that “there are many ways of being human.” To that end, Tompkins shared a list (which includes recommendations from Healthy Gender Development and Young Children: A Guide for Early Childhood Programs and Professionals) of LGBTQ-affirming books that will “unwrap a more inclusive world” for developing young minds:
Books for ages two and up
- And Tango Makes Three, by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell—the heartwarming true story of two penguins who create a family that reflects the new world in which we live (2-5 years old).
- Of Course They Do! Boys and Girls Can Do Anything, by Marie-Sabine Roger and Anne Sol—a book that debunks commonly held gender myths in a cheerful, no-nonsense fashion (2-5 years old).
Books for ages three and up
- The Story of Ferdinand, by Munro Leaf—all the other bulls run, jump, and butt their heads together in fights. Ferdinand, on the other hand, would rather sit and smell the flowers (3-5 years old).
- Who Has What? All About Girls’ Bodies and Boys’ Bodies, by Robie H. Harris—this is a helpful book for parents or families when their children start to ask questions about their bodies (3-7 years old).
Books for ages four and up
- I Am Jazz, by Jessica Herthel and Jazz Jennings—the story of a transgender child based on the real-life experience of Jazz Jennings, who has become a spokesperson for trans kids everywhere (4-8 years old).
- Jacob’s New Dress, by Sarah and Ian Hoffman—this heartwarming story speaks to the unique challenges faced by boys who don’t identify with traditional gender roles (4-8 years old).
- Not Every Princess, by Jeffrey and Lisa Bone—a book that helps readers gently question the rigid construction of gender roles, while challenging societal expectations in an inspirational way (4-8 years old).
- Red: A Crayon’s Story, by Michael Hall—a story about being true to your inner self and following your own path despite obstacles that may come your way (4-8 years old).
- Love Makes a Family, by Sophie Beer—this fun, inclusive board book celebrates the one thing that makes every family a family . . . and that’s LOVE (preschool and up).
Tompkins also recommends visibly displaying LGBTQ books and materials. “This sends a powerful message to children who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. Even seeing a book or sticker sends a subtle message that this space is safe.”
“Books help children make sense of the world in honest and accessible ways. Having them in public schools isn’t political; it’s about inclusion and fostering empathy for identity difference,” adds Tompkins. “Children will learn anything we teach them. They can learn acceptance just as easily as intolerance. And they absorb everything around them, including the conversations we don’t have about the communities we don’t include. Having LGBTQ-related books matters—not just for the kids who see themselves in the pages, but for every child growing up in an increasingly diverse world.”
For more information about Raising LGBTQ Allies, visit Chris Tompkins’ website, A Road Trip to Love.