The Huffington Post
May 15, 2012
Several years into my transtion about a decade ago, I thought seriously about killing myself. Life was really hard. I wasn't passing as my true female self very well. I often was called a man as I walked down the street. I didn't think I would ever be accepted as the woman I always knew I was, and I wanted to end it. In the note I was going to write to accompany my death, I was going to have explicit instructions about the pronouns that should be used to refer to me in death. I was going to write that I shouldn't be referred to by the name on my birth certificate but by the name that reflects my female identity -- that is, my legal name, the name I took after I dropped my old first name. ("Laverne" was my middle name, and "Cox" was my last name at birth.) I basically didn't want to be disrespected and misgendered in my death, as all too often happens to transgender folks in news reports on our deaths.
Check out our blog post at