This Holiday Season, Do Ask, Do Tell

In many families, the holidays are a noisy time, full of chatter and commentary. Living scattered and busy lives as we do, we make up for the distance and reconnect through conversation, remarking over jobs obtained and lost, who got married, who put on weight, who's looking fabulous, or worn out, or worried. But when it comes to gay, trans, or queer relationships, often the conversation hits an invisible wall that everyone knows is there but no one acknowledges. It's as if the family has its very own 'don't ask, don't tell' policy in effect, a pink elephant in the room as big as the Christmas tree.