It was the little gestures that put Navy Lt. Gary Ross at ease in the weeks after the repeal of the military's ban on openly gay service members. When he went to work, his boss asked him: "How's Dan?" - a reference to Ross' husband. And when it came time to select a coordinator for the arrival of his new ship at its home port in San Diego - a post traditionally held by a military spouse - officials asked Dan Ross. The fears that repeal of the ban would be met with diminished morale were nowhere to be seen. "We're realizing that it was not the disaster that some people predicted," Gary Ross said. "The day after the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell was the same as the day before, except now we weren't forcing a cross-section of our military to lie about who they were."