On Monday, June 2, 2014, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer bloggers, their family members, and allies from across the U.S. and around the world will celebrate the ninth annual Blogging for LGBTQ Families Day. The event, developed and run by the award-winning LGBTQ-parenting site Mombian, and sponsored by Family Equality Council, aims to raise awareness of LGBTQ families, their diverse natures, and how current prejudices and laws have a negative impact on their lives and children.
By Hannah Moch
Last week, I graduated from college. In attendance, among the family members of a few hundred other graduates of Eugene Lang (the liberal arts college within The New School) in black caps and gowns, sat my moms. I’d collaged something on my hat that I did not show them before the ceremony. Late the night before I’d cut the words “Thanks Moms” from the scrap paper. I’d thought a lot about what I wanted to decorate my hat with. I’d seen education majors place whole apples on their cap and art majors paint beautiful landscapes, but I was a media major, heading into a career in communications, which is hard to portray on a hat. When I thought of “Thanks Moms” I knew it was perfect.
It was a statement; “Yes, momS everyone.” It was a statement I’ve been making my whole life. From the people who innocently asked, “oh, you have two moms?” to the people who insisted that everyone has only one mom.
But it was also an honest sentiment. I have a lot to thank my moms for. Here are just a few things:
I have my moms to thank for letting me choose what I would call them. This seems to be a concern that lesbian couples always have when they're about to have a child, or at least it's a concern that other people have when they meet a lesbian couple who are about to have a kid. (Raise your hand if your a lesbian mom or gay dad who got asked "what are they gonna call you?" when you were a new parent. Ditto if you are the child of gay parents whose gotten asked "whose your real mom/dad?"). All of this was further complicated by the fact that my moms have the same first name and initials. Calling my biological mother Mom and my other mother Mama has always made sense to me.
I have my moms to thank for letting me be out and proud about our family. It’s not something they always would’ve chosen but they never discouraged me from doing it. I love telling people about them, about us. I want people to know that someone who was raised by a gay couple graduated college already having a job in the field of their choice. I want people to see that queerspawn are thriving all over the world. I want people to see that gay parents aren’t a hindrance to success. Sometimes they’re even (at least part of) the reason I succeed.
I have my moms to thank for staying friends after they broke up. I don't know anyone else whose split up parents are as close as my moms are. They still rely on each other. Having parents who love each other is much more important than having parents who are IN love with each other.
I have my moms to thank for having me at all. The early '90s was not the height of the gay parenting movement (have we even hit it yet?). I am so lucky they were brave enough to follow their dream of having and raising a child even though there was very little support available to gay parents then. I am grateful they were willing to be trailblazers.
Mostly importantly, I have to thank my moms for loving me unconditionally. I have to thank them for being my moms.